(Collected Letters of Rabbi Hutner)
Nice place - very warm and friendly
•Physical assistance: a visitor should try to help in attending to the sick persons physical needs
It is unfortunate that I have received advice from some elements in the Jewish community, to immediately abandon, and divorce, a spouse who suffers from progressive mental illness.
A visitor should seek practical ways of helping the sick person, while remaining alert to the sick persons needs and sensitive to her feelings. Knowing what to say and what not to say to the sick person and to her family, praying on behalf of the sick person, timing ones visit, and offering the kinds of assistance that would truly be appreciated, are all part of conducting an investigation in fulfillment of the mitzvah of bikur cholim. In the upcoming lessons of this course, we will discuss practical ways of turning a visit into an investigation that will genuinely benefit the sick person.
Bikur cholim is far more than a simple visit; it is an opportunity to participate actively in the healing process. Yet this crucial opportunity must be addressed with the utmost sensitivity to the one who is ill. In defining bikur cholim as an investigation, Rabbi Hutner was not implying that a visitor should interrogate the sick person, her family or her other caregivers. One can do a tremendous amount to help a sick person without knowing the details of the illness or the nature of the treatment being administered, and without offering unsolicited advice (in Lessons Two and Three, we will discuss the concept of privacy relative to illness).
According to Nachmanides, there are three (3) general objectives that visiting the sick should achieve:
Rabbi Yitzchock Hutner (1904-1981, Europe-America-Israel) shows how our approach to helping the sick person is contained in the very words that identify the mitzvah, bikur cholim:
We must understand that the mitzvah of visiting the sick involves far more than a visit; a major purpose in performing this mitzvah is to inquire after the sick persons specific needs with the intention of offering assistance. This function of inquiring after the needs of the sick person derives from the word bikur, which can be translated as investigation. Thus, any assistance a person is able to provide for one who is sick is included in the mitzvah of bikur cholim. A person should use his own good judgment to decide whether a given action will actually prove helpful to the sick person.
I discussed this ethical/moral issues with Rabbi Gancz, who offered to assist a mentally ill, regular shabbat congregant with spiritual advice.
•Spiritual assistance: a visitor should pray to G-d on behalf of the sick person
What is the general consensus in the Jewish community about whether or not the mitzvah of Bikur Cholim applies not only to people who suffer from physical illnesses, but also to those who suffer from mental illnesses?
peace
Thank you for so kindly helping our close friends in the time they needed it most...I can't imagine what life would have been like without your and your wife..you have been lifesaver to them and their family..
In addition to these positive objectives, Nachmanides identifies certain behaviors that a visitor should avoid, either because they cause pain, discomfort, or embarrassment to the sick person, or because they are burdensome to him in some other way. These behaviors will be discussed in upcoming lessons.
May hahsem continue to shower you with abundance of blessings...
I have reached out to Rabbi Gancz to offer spiritual help and advice with the situation where one of the synagogue's regular Shabbat congregants has been subject to multiple restraining orders preventing her from continued acts of physical and verbal violence, and threats, against her husband, children, and pet poodles, in the hope that this congregant can start the process of Tshuva, in accordance with Jewish Law. I am glad to learn from the Rabbi, that Judaism neither condones child/spousal abuse, nor animal cruelty.
•Emotional assistance: a visitor should be friendly to a sick person, providing him with a feeling of camaraderie
Does the concept of Gemilut Chasadim (selfless kindness) that encompasses the mitzvah of Bikur Cholim, apply to visiting and offering spiritual assistance to the mentally ill?
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